In late January I decided that I would give up all alcohol for February. I had heard many people discussing they had given it up for January, but I missed that. February was a shorter month and I didn't have any leisure trips planned so I thought, why not?
Why did I decide to give up alcohol? Did I think I NEEDED to? Yes and no. Yes, because I love a challenge and alcohol does nothing for my physical, mental, emotional or spiritual well-being. No, because I know I do not have an alcohol problem.
I am happy to report that I did not have a drop to drink in February, not a sip of beer or wine or hard seltzer or tequila. Nothing. Nada. I am proud of myself, but it really wasn't that difficult. The hardest part was not joining in with my husband when he came out to California to visit me. We went out for brunch one Sunday and I really wanted a Mai Tai (the restaurant's specialty). Also, since the weather was so warm in Cali, I sometimes wanted an ice-cold beer as I sat on my sun-drenched balcony after a long day at work. Other than that, I was good and the month, like all months, flew by.
So, what did I learn, and did I reach Nirvana? I learned a lot, but I don't really know what Nirvana is, so the jury is out on that. I learned that I do not need alcohol to be happy, to laugh or to be emotional. I do not need it to feel good. I do not need it to be creative or to write.
Doing without it is better for my waistline and my emotional stability. Though I didn't lose any weight, I would have if it weren't for a hefty per diem that my employer insists on paying me every day that I am in California. And I was in California a lot in February.
Alcohol is tied to many health issues: cancer, dementia, diabetes. I am sure the list goes on and on. I have much cancer and dementia/Alzheimer's in my family. It also adds complications, at least for me, in most of my relationships, even the good and solid ones.
A friend and I have spoken about how alcohol-fueled conversations with our kids sometimes leave us emotional, vulnerable and just not worth the fuss. Especially during the holidays. I also argue with my husband more when I drink, especially if I am not in the right frame of mind.
The thing is, I have been in the right frame of mind more often that not for most of 2021. Alcohol is not the only reason, but it is a contributor. I have been spending time each day with God, writing out my prayers and focusing on His goodness. I have been focusing on gratitude. I have been giving God my concerns and my anxiety. And I have been writing and reading more than I have in years.
There is no magic potion to any of this. I can't rub a bottle and make everything fine. Sometimes things just aren't. But I know that if I am fully focused on the here and now, I have a much better chance of being joyful and thankful. And alcohol? Well, it is just not that conducive to accomplishing any of these things.
Today has been stressful. Nothing major, nothing huge. Just a lot of little frustrations that have me a bit in a funk. The day started out amazing, with a trip to Starbucks where I was blessed and had the opportunity to bless. I learned some heavy-duty lessons by 8:30 am. That is always a great thing. I decided to walk away from the chaos, pour myself a tangerine hard seltzer and just sit in the sun for an hour or so, meditating. It helped.
As I write this, I am drinking a lemon seltzer. It tastes like summer and I really enjoy it. Will it become a daily habit? I hope not. But I have learned to never say never. It has been nearly a year since COVID-19 reared its ugly head and shut all our lives down. With it, my husband and I had daily happy hours, sitting on our back porch and enjoying a few drinks. There was nothing inherently wrong with that. But I don't want that to define me. And I don't necessarily want to go back there. I want to move forward.
Many wonderful things have happened in February. I have finally started writing my book, one which I hope gets published and helps people. I spend less time in front of the tv and more time reading. My husband and I are building intimacy. Every day, I determine to be present and to commune with God and listen to His voice. All these things are very hard to do when alcohol is involved, even one drink.
Will I give alcohol up for good one day? I don't know, but I am open to it. I think it is totally overrated. And the older I get, the more this rings true.
My husband is calling this month Mindfulness March. I love it. The Calm app I try to listen to often is all about mindfulness. I NEED this attribute in my life. I want this in my life. I would love if other people would catch the vision, even for a week, or two weeks.
You may just be happier than you ever thought possible. But don't take my word for it. Try it. You may just like it.