I'm reading a book that was suggested to me by not one, but two, potential employers during interviews. The title is, "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking."
After the first potential employer mentioned it, I promptly went to Amazon.com and purchased it right away. I read the first chapter as soon as I received it, then put it away for an entire year. Today I got the book out, dusted it off, and read Chapter Two. I might add here that, even though I had great interviews with both potential employers, I was rejected by both of them. Coincidence? I'll never know. But I digress.
If you know me, you know I'm an introvert. I've posted many things on Facebook about this, but I don't think I have ever written about it. Until now.
For as far back as I can remember, I was "shy." Or at least that was the label that others gave me. And it stuck. Being shy meant I felt awkward around others, I stayed in my room a lot and wrote in my journal and listened to music. It meant I would sneak into the kitchen during my parents' dinner parties, grab food and race out, before anyone noticed me. It meant I despised going to parties or events where I knew no one because I would be forced to talk about the weather or whatever, all the while longing to be home, on the couch, with a good book. Since all of those things were, indeed true, I wore the label like a bad suit: it clung to me, but it didn't fit.
Growing up, I always felt strange, like I didn't belong. I guess that's why I loved to go to my room, close the door, listen to music and write. I was also very sensitive. I felt different than others did when someone looked at me, when something happened that others didn't cry about, but I did. I felt emotional about things that others didn't even think about or maybe even laughed about. Again, all of this could be attributed to my "shyness" which, hopefully, one day I would grow out of.
As time went by, I continued to embrace solitude. I continued to write and I continued to crave deep, meaningful conversation with people. I have always had close friends, but those friends could be counted on one hand. There was simply not enough of me to go around for 10 or 20; two or three were enough. And I continued to think I was some kind of a freak, that I did not belong in this World.
I carried into adulthood that same "shyness" and would willingly tell just about anyone I met that I was "shy" due to the fact that I was labeled that way. Now I realize that is not what I am at all.
I now know that I'm an introvert and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Just like there is nothing wrong with being a Christian, a Republican, a Vegetarian/Vegan (other things that I am). I also understand that I am not some sort of freak of nature (which is what I thought for about 50 years). It is sometimes still a struggle, but I know that I am who I was created to be. I have not "arrived," but I am steadily accepting who I am...and using the gifts I've been given to, hopefully, help others.
But I can still be in a room of 100 people and feel like I'm the only one who feels awkward and I just want to make a beeline for the door. Or a group of people wants to go to lunch and I feel weird because I know it will all be small talk and I just want to stay at work and check emails and re-charge. Or it's the first day of work at a new job and we are called on to stand up, introduce ourselves and "tell our story." And all of those things are okay because I am not the person who will ever, ever embrace any of those things.
Just to clarify, I will go to a party, go to lunch and tell anything about myself ALL DAY LONG just not in a group. In fact, most of my close friends, many who are extroverts, say they will never just start talking to a stranger the way I do. I have had many an intimate conversation in First Class on an airplane!
My passions are training and writing; one is an "extrovert" thing and one is most definitely an introvert thing. Yet both make up who I am and I think I am equally as good at both. I am not a one-dimensional being, but multi-dimensional just like everyone else on our wonderful Planet.
If you are an Introvert, do yourself a favor and pick up the book. If you are an Extrovert, try to do your best to live with the wonderful, complicated, sensitive Introverts in your life. I can guarantee you will never, ever regret it.
My Introverted Life
