It's the most wonderful time of the year.
Well, yes and no.
There are so many good things about Christmas time. It is a time to remember just exactly what the holiday is about, whether you choose to celebrate it or not. It is a time of giving, of coming together, of being with family and friends. It is about Jesus coming close to humanity, God with us.
It's also a time of great sorrow for many, maybe because they do not realize the hope that Jesus brings. Or they are estranged from their family. Maybe they had a loved one die close to or on the holiday and all it does it bring back painful memories.
Recently I was thinking about how much my mom loved Christmas. I mean, she lived for it. She embraced the holiday for its true meaning but celebrated it as much more as well.
At some point in her later years, she decided she was going to learn to make chocolate and dove in like everything else she did in life: full steam ahead. I think she started with one or two varieties, then expanded into over a dozen, I believe. I am not sure if she took a class or was self-taught, but she was a master. When my brother and I cleaned out our parents' house after they had moved to assisted living, I found pounds and pounds of the chocolate discs required to make Christmas chocolate. It broke my heart. So much potential, so much thrown away. And I am not talking about the chocolate.
Mom also made other tempting treats, including pounds and pounds of Chex party mix (I still cannot duplicate it), gingerbread cookies and cut-out sugar cookies. Let's not forget her Nut cake that must have weighed in at two or three pounds, but a crowd pleaser all the same.
My mom knew how to make memories. I was telling my husband just the other day that she nearly perfected it. She would plan some special event during Christmas, and it usually involved going to downtown Denver to see the Nutcracker or the Rockettes or some other kind of wonderful adventure, complete with dinner before or after. It was her way of "treating the girls" and she included not only her daughter, but her daughters-in-law.
I try to be like her, in a small way, during the holidays. A few years ago, I took my daughter-in-love, Lauren, to a special Cirque de Soleil show at the Gaylord, and we had so much fun! I want to honor my mom by honoring the "girls" in my life as well.
Another tradition my mom had was setting up a plastic gumdrop tree that's leaves were made of red and green gumdrops. A few years ago, I bought the same tree as a way to honor her and it is a big hit with my son, James. I enjoy plucking a few leaves off the tree each day myself!
I was thinking today of how selfish I had been with my time where my mom was concerned. How I wish I had just one more day with her to go Christmas shopping or out to lunch or just whatever. There were so many times she asked me to visit, and I was just too busy. Or I was angry with her and didn't want to deal with her. She was good at the guilt game, but I realize now she just wanted to be with me, but she didn't have the capacity to say, "I miss you. Can we spend time together?"
Regardless, I miss her. I let anger rule my heart in too many ways for too long.
For me, while this IS the most wonderful time of the year, I also have moments of melancholy, not just because of mom, but other reasons as well. So, if you are struggling, I get it. I understand.
But there is hope, if you would but simply look to the manger.
Merry Christ-mas!