I have learned a lot in the past 60 years. Some lessons have come easily and others not so much.
The first thing is that time flies and it is not a respecter of anyone or anything. My mom used to say that time flies whether you are having fun or not. She was right.
Because time flies, I have learned to live in the present. Sometimes. Well, a little. But I think I am getting better at it, slowly.
Living in the present, I have learned, means leaning in, trying to listen and trying to let others be. This is difficult for me. Extremely so. It also means not hanging on to the past or living for the future. It means wherever you are, be there. Ouch.
Listening means accepting people for where they are, not for where we think they should be. It also means seeing people for who they can become, not as they are.
Seeing people for who they can become requires love. And patience. Lots of both. Grace, compassion, empathy, mercy.
I've learned to feel what I feel. And to allow others to feel what they feel. It does no good to tell someone not to feel something that they are already feeling. Ever.
I have learned that it is not wrong, it is just different. My way is not the only way.
I've learned that people are flawed. I learned that in my first five years, like we all did. Life is not fair, we all said a zillion times by this age. Sometimes I am glad it isn't because I have been extended way more grace and mercy than a person deserves. I have escaped what I have deserved countless times.
God is just, merciful and gracious. He is perfect and He loves me unconditionally. He also loves my enemies. And He wants me to love them as well. And to be merciful and to be gracious. I am still learning how to do this. Painfully, grudgingly. But I am trying. And mostly open to it, on my good days.
Trying is something I do, sometimes to a fault. Sometimes I need to stop trying, to give up. This is not something I have learned well. Not everyone is my friend, I don't have to be loved by everyone. I do not need to care what others think, unless I have hurt them or I need to make amends. What they think of me is none of my business.
I have learned that love can come more than once in a lifetime. I have learned love comes in many forms. I have learned there is nothing like the love you feel for a child or a grandchild.
I've learned that children are a blessing, even when they have disappointed you or have not lived up to your ideals. And that you should never, ever regret having them or say that you regret having them. Shame on me for the careless words I have uttered.
Parents made mistakes, too, and should own them. Kids need to hear I'm sorry. They need to know they are the greatest gifts ever, even when we don't always show them. Even when we are extraordinarily selfish and preoccupied with our own happiness.
I've learned happiness cannot be bought or found in anything or anyone else other than Jesus. Believe me, I have tried. I still do, time and time again.
The Dallas Cowboys aren't God. Taylor Swift isn't God. Baseball isn't God. Neither is the ocean, or turtles, or cats, or bunnies. Or the best pizza or chocolate you can eat. Or my husband or my best friend. While these things are good, they will not satisfy me and they will eventually let me down.
Quite simply, God is God. And I will never be happy while trying to replace Him with anything or anyone else.
Never say never. Every time you do, said God will ensure that you will be put in every single situation that you say never about. Homeschooling. Divorce. Affairs. Going back to New Jersey. Being friends with that person.
Yes, I have learned much in 60 years. I need another 60 to learn the rest. I wish I had that long.
Like the song says, the more I know, the less I understand. And I know that knowledge isn't the key; wisdom is. If you know me, hopefully I have imparted at least a small amount to you. If not, I hope to, at some point.
The greatest thing any of us has to give to the other is love. I learned this from the greatest Teacher of all time. My goal is to love as He loved. To all those out there who have not been loved by me as you deserve, I ask for your forgiveness. I will try harder.
After all, I'm still learning.