These are four phrases we hear and, more than likely, say every day right?
Wrong.
I would venture to say that we RARELY hear them and even more rarely say them.
If I could hear you speak right now, I'm sure I would hear outrage. How can she say that? "I, We, They, say at least one of those four phrases at least once a day, if not more!"
And I would counter back with, "Oh, do you, we, they?"
Even though I am not a psychologist, I like to think of myself as a skilled observer of all things human. And one thing I have definitely noticed, especially since the increase of social media's presence in our lives, is that these four phrases are rarely spoken or written in their entirety.
If you want to test my theory, just try saying them to someone, either out loud or, more importantly, in print. Text someone that you love them or post it on Facebook. More than likely, you will say "Love You" to them or, at the very least, if you say "I love you," you will get a "Love You" or "Me Too" back. Even people in the most intimate of relationships are guilty of this.
Like I said, I have been watching this phenomena play out for years, both in my life and the life of others, and I think I know why it is so common. I would venture to say that the majority of people have a difficult time expressing themselves honestly and openly. I would also boldly state that positive emotions are sometimes the ones we flee from because, well, we think they are negative.
One example of this would be crying. I view crying as a very positive emotion and I do it quite regularly (some would say TOO regularly, but everyone has their critics right)? When I cry, I am perfectly fine with it, regardless of if I am truly sad or if I am happy or if I am simply just moved to tears. What I have observed about others, however, is that when I cry, they want it to stop. They will say, "Oh, don't cry" or "You shouldn't cry." Why do people say this? Because THEY are the ones who are extremely uncomfortable with tears; they do not want me (or anyone else) to cry, not because they are concerned about our feelings, but because they are uncomfortable with theirs. I know this is a bold statement and it seems judgmental, but that is not my intent. I have spent a lot of time analyzing this and, quite frankly, living this. I know that of which I speak.
And so it is with the four phrases mentioned above. People are uncomfortable with putting the "I" in front of "Love You." They also aren't huge fans of putting the "I" in front of "Miss You" and the "I'm" in front of "Sorry." Of course, many enjoy saying "Night" instead of "Good Night," I think, for the very same reason. Lest you think I am wrong, go to your very own text history or Facebook posts right now and test my theory. I can go to mine and see that, my husband excluded, my children, family members and my very close friends say "Love You" most of the time. I, on the other hand, have made it a point to almost ALWAYS say "I Love You."
Why? First and foremost, because saying the entire phrase, instead of just two words, conveys a greater intimacy. And I am ALL ABOUT increased intimacy in my relationships, although my actions don't always demonstrate it. Also, I like to be unique and rebellious. So if everyone else has an iPhone and wants me to drink the Kool-Aid, guess what? I will forever stick with my Droid just to be different and stand out from the crowd. So since everyone else is fighting the urge to have greater intimacy, then I am going to forge full steam ahead and do all I can to increase the intimacy level of my relationships.
The same holds true for I Miss You, I'm sorry and Good Night. "Miss You" and "Sorry" are way less intimate, and as such, easier to say. "Night" is a quick way to say to say "Good Night" without the same intimacy level. I dare you to test this out as well.
So, what's the point? And better yet, what's the solution? Well, the point is, this is something I have talked about for years, but have never written about. So there's that. The solution? Well, I'm no expert (ha, ha), but I propose we start putting an "I" in front of these phrases: I Love You, I Miss You, I Am Sorry and throw in a Good Night for good measure.
Try it out. It won't hurt anything. And it may just bring us all a bit closer together. Now that is something I think we all can agree on.
I Love You, I Miss You, I'm Sorry, Good Night
