I have never thought of myself as enough. Too much, yes. But never, ever enough.
Many women who I have talked to over the years have expressed the same feelings to me. I haven't heard many men talk about it, but I am sure they feel the same way. I actually read about a man today that feels this way.
We all try to compensate for not feeling like we are not enough, for sure. I did this, for years, in one desperate attempt after another, to get validation from boys, then men. It started early for me, around the age of five, and didn't truly end until I was in my 50s.
Sad but true.
Even after becoming a Christian, I still felt not enough. I wasn't as smart or godly or as holy as other Christian women. I didn't act the same way. I didn't fit in. I still don't.
While that can be a great thing, at times, it didn't feel so awesome to me.
Ten years or so ago, finally, I came to the realization that seeking to gain approval or validation from any other source but God is a huge waste of time. Empty and devoid of meaning.
Not that I have arrived, mind you, but I am on my way.
I still enjoy compliments from my husband and from other people. I am not dead, after all. The rush I used to feel when men told me I was attractive or hot or whatever has now lost its luster, however.
Thank God. Literally.
Today I was reading a book, "Prayer Power," and it is amazing. I have read a passage in it every day for the past 25 and it is life-changing and life challenging, things I definitely need.
When I read the verse that went along with the reading, it made me stop in my tracks. Even a verse I have read and heard dozens of times landed on fresh ears. Perky and ready to hear.
"Let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:4 (NKJV)
Wowza! Talk about something hitting me right upside the head and smack in the middle of my eyes! What great news for me, for everyone, who struggles with not being enough or any other inadequacy.
I went on to read that it takes time to become a master. And if anything is worth the time, it is getting to a place of being perfect and complete, lacking nothing. I really, really like this! Is love too strong a word?
Not that perfection and completeness is something I can achieve, in and of myself, but it is God doing the work through me. And He already declares me perfect and complete. Talk about life-changing good news.
What about you? What do you think about this good news?
After I read devotions, sometimes I write a prayer or a lyric or a poem. Today I wrote a song that includes the following:
I am enough. I have always been enough. You are enough. Because He is more than enough.
Today I am taking this to the bank, knowing I will get a great return on my investment, much better than any interest the Stock Market can provide.
Care to make a deposit along with me?
Erin, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. My whole psychological theory is based upon this question, am I enough? I call it my beloved principles. Principal number one is we all want to be loved more than we want anything else. Principal number two is we are all worried. We’re not lovable enough. I think this question in this drive guides so much of human behavior, certainly most of love and romance and sex, but also most of social interactions.
And you also hit the best answer, we’re worth being loved first and foremost because we’re worth being loved by God, even in our sin.
This is one of the main themes of my novel that I’m publishing here, serially, the Ona Question. I think you could relate to my main character Melissa and you would see that the first couple chapters.
This theory is also the basis of my next couple of non-fiction books I’m working on.
I hope you could check out that novel. I’d be honored for you to read it and get your feedback.