Grace is the best gift we can ever give to each other. And to ourselves. Grace, by definition, is unmerited favor. The book, Les Misérables, is a wonderful example of grace in action.
Truth is also awesome. Being honest and stating things as they are is vital, but so rare in these days of subjective truth, that everything is okay.
But one without the other? Not so good.
I love technology, sometimes. Today I sit on a sunny deck at my hotel in Dana Point, California while my family and friends are buried by a snowstorm in Colorado. I feel blessed to have enjoy 60 degree weather and sunshine.
I also feel blessed because I can connect to my church, virtually, from all these miles away. So, I did. While church was canceled today, there was a service that was held last night. So, I grabbed my Starbucks and a huge, decadent Doubletree Hotel chocolate chip cookie (otherwise known as the breakfast of champions) and watched the service online just a while ago.
Today's verse was John 1:14 which says, "The Word (Jesus) became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."
Our pastor emphasized that Jesus was full of BOTH grace and truth, that there was never one without the other in His life. They go together, he said. And they do.
Years ago, when I was a Bible study teacher, I took a spiritual gifts quiz (if you are a Christian and haven't done this, I highly suggest you do. It may be eye-opening). Anyway, I discovered that I had the gifts of teaching AND exhortation. The teaching part was easy to handle. I loved it (still do). Exhortation, however? Now that is a slippery slope type of gift.
The definition of exhortation, in Biblical terms is, "to give warnings or advice, to give urgent appeals." After finding out I had this gift as well, I thought to myself, well, that makes perfect sense. I am quite good at THAT too (humility is NOT a spiritual gift).
The problem with being a teacher AND an exhorter is probably obvious. Both involve speaking a lot. And whenever the tongue is involved? Well, like I said, a very slippery slope indeed.
I used to think that just because I said the truth, I was good to go. But Jesus said to "Speak the truth in love." Again, grace AND truth need to co-exist. But I often erred on the side of truth, being terrified of overdoing it on grace.
I freely exhorted, but I am sure it felt more like I was banging people over the head. I tend to be like a bull in a china shop with my words, struggling to not knock over valuables as I exert by power. It didn't go that great. I once "exhorted" a friend with the fact that she smoked and that was a bad thing (truth, for sure). But I went overboard, calling it a sin. And she left me quicker than you could say sin. It felt like death by a thousand cuts, to her and to me. Our collective bleeding could have filled up vials and vials.
Still, I felt like if I was not exhorting, I was not fulfilling God's purpose. I was wasting the gift He gave me. I had it so wrong.
That was years ago. I am no longer a Bible teacher, but now am a software trainer. I still talk and talk, all day sometimes, to students. I haven't taken a spiritual gift quiz in a while; maybe I should because I have heard they can change. This makes sense because people change.
To be honest, I really hope that is not still my gift. I have spent years trying to be softer, more gracious. I made mistakes there, too, giving people way too much grace when I should have sprinkled the truth in for good measure. I had friendships where I allowed way too much monkey business to go on. And they did the same with me. This made for less-than-genuine friendships, many of which didn't survive.
Our pastor said that Christians tend to be off-balance in the areas of grace and truth, that we typically choose one over the other. I completely agree, as expressed above. We need BOTH in order to move forward.
The difficulty, for me, at least, is that balance. The only way to get better is for me to spend more time with God, in prayer and in His word. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life." He is. My truth can be a much different version of his, however. So, I need to rely on Him, minute by minute, and He will show me truth.
He will also show me how to be gracious with others. My motivation? He has been so gracious with me. You have no idea. But if you read any of my writing, hopefully my need for grace comes through strong and clear. If it doesn't, please let me know. I will need to change my voice.
So, what now? Well, first, I think I will take that quiz again to see if I still have that gift. If I do, it will be a much more toned-down version of the original Erin exhortation gift. Second, if I ever bulldozed over you with my desire to speak the truth (and it was without grace), please forgive me. I cannot guarantee it will not happen again. All I can do is try.
That's really all any of us can do.